Condescending Alert!

This blog is dedicated to people who survived working or dealing with condescending co-workers, bosses, teachers or even parents.  

To  help  everyone name such reality, it is imperative that we define and describe it.  Yes, probably you knew something was off but you did not know how it is called. 

According to urbandictionary.com, condescending is a subtle way of showing superiority.  This is the reason why, I suggested that some people unwittingly have become victims of condescending . 

A little etymology. According to https://english.stackexchange.com, it's a Latin word, formed with the prefix con- (meaning 'with') plus the  verb descendere (meaning 'go down, descend'), and together meaning to lower oneself metaphorically in status by associating with inferiors.

Here are a  few signs: 

1. When they are condescending,  they use sweet names or terms of endearment  like honey, my friend, chief, boss, habibi.  They will lovingly address you, but if you analyze their message they are trying to impose their all-knowing statement and you, you don't know anything and at the mercy of their reservoir of knowledge. 

2. They will stop you midsentence to correct your grammar or your pronunciation. I am a grammar guru. I am a native speaker and I know better. 

3. You will always need to learn something from their experiences. They will always say, "I have been there, and I have done that and this was how I managed it" I think, during their free time, they sort cue cards of experiences in their head. 

4. They love giving backhanded compliments  (part praise, part insult). Condescending people will recognize your moment and will also try to destroy you in a very subtle way. Here's one example of a man who addressed a salesman after the latter's lengthy sales talk. "That's an amazing presentation! It made me realize how difficult a salesman's work to earn commission." 

5. They are chatter boxes who believe that they are the life of meetings, discussions and parties. Problem is, they talk incessantly, love to butt in and don't allow other people to speak. 

6. They belittle people who provide services. They yell at waitresses, bellboys, receptionists, flight stewards, cab drivers, etc. 

7. They use  terms they are sure you don't know (some jargon)  and they will give you the lecture about it. (No, not a blog post) In addition to that, they will ask you, "how come you don't know about that?'

8. They give advice to people who don't need it and feel offended when advice is  not taken. If the other person goes wrong, sure he will hear something like "I told yah, you did not listen."

9. Condescending comes from people who are jealous, ambitious, arrogant and self-centered. 

10. Their advice or opinion is coated as a generalization. "You are always like that.  You never listened to me. You are doing it wrong again."

It is quite a long list and sometimes accidentally we become the ones guilty of condescending. To correct it, we need to empathize  with other people and be on guard of what we say or how we behave. We become hurtful when we don't consider the feelings of other people and when we don't respect them as equals. 

In order to handle condescending bosses, partners or teachers, we need to understand that it is  not about our behavior, it is about theirs. We need to keep our cool, be more patient, be forgiving  and wait for someone much braver who will most likely kick the douche bag's @**.   

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